Cansada

Cansada


I don't wanna feel this ache.
This little piece of sadness is killing all the good light inside of me.
I don't wanna feel this anymore but.... It's beyond of me. I can't control it.
I wanted I was able to pull away all the bad situations and destructive thoughts but... Doesn't deppends only of me.
Every day, something goes wrong: someone be sick, the car broke, unexpected bills arrives... In front of this, how can I stay happy? How can I feel happy seeing all my dreams been destroyed just in front of my eyes, with no chance I save them? It's so hard!
Of course I try. I try be positive, I try to be altruist, I try to think that everything will be fine in the right moment but... When the right moment never comes, how I'm supposed to "be happy" when all I feel is my inside being hurted of again and again, with no mercy?

Maybe I'm being selfish, maybe I'm just acting insensitive, maybe I'm just being a stupid ungrateful, that complains having everything in life but... I'm sorry, I'm just suffering. 

I'm so tired of loosing everything I love, I'm so tired of see all the things I dreamed for so long, running through my fingers. This is so.... Unfair.

I'm sorry... I'm just too broken to be myself today. 








Y.
17:37hs.
06/03/2019.